Satan’s Plan to Destroy Marriage: Abuse
By Pastor Aisi Kosa
Abuse is destroying marriages, lives, and families in PNG.
Multiple reports say that at least 60% of women in PNG are victims of sexual abuse. In some areas, that number goes up to 80%. What is sexual abuse? It is when sex or sexual contact is forced on another person without their agreement. Some examples are rape, molesting under-age children, or forced prostitution. Sex is a gift from God to married couples, but Satan deceives us and makes it into something unholy; something used to destroy other people, especially women.
Satan does not only use sexual abuse to destroy marriages, but also domestic violence and physical abuse, which leads to rampant physical, social, and mental problems in the family. Children are affected, education is ruined, properties are destroyed, ethnic and tribal fights erupt, and marriages end in divorce! A prominent lawyer in Papua New Guinea says, “Violence is like a disease that not only destroys families, but PNG as a nation.”
Why is abuse so prominent in Papua New Guinea? A major reason is this: our culture has the wrong view of women. Women are seen as cargo, an item that is bought with a bride price payment.
We think that ‘Because he paid for his wife he can’:
- Divorce her and buy another
- Cast her off and buy a new one
- Force her to work for him
- Commit adultery since she is only a piece of property, not an exclusive, life-long partner
- Verbally and physically abuse her
But God did not create woman to be the property of man!
God created woman in His own image (Genesis 1:27) to be a true companion of man (Genesis 2:21-23), and therefore women should be honoured and cherished. The Apostle Paul says a husband should love his wife and treat her well, like he would treat his own body (Ephesians 5:28). The Apostle Peter says a husband should honour his wife and be considerate (1 Peter 3:7). Just as Christ never abuses, misuses, or shames His bride, the church, but rather loves her dearly, so a husband should love his wife.
God is a God of grace, mercy, and love. He is willing and ready to help husbands and wives.
Listen! Satan uses sinful thinking about women to destroy marriages in PNG. Do you see how Satan uses lies to destroy marriage, which God had made good and holy? Is your marriage under attack because of Satan’s lies? Where is your marriage heading? Young man, what type of marriage are you planning? Young women, how is your future husband treating you right now? What are you following – God’s plan for marriage or Satan’s lies?
If you are already under Satan’s lies, and your marriage is not faithful or holy as God wants it to be, there is still hope. God can bring change, restoration and blessing into your married life. God is a God of grace, mercy, and love. He is willing and ready to help husbands and wives.
If you are an abusive husband or wife, confess your sins to God and sincerely desire to change your evil ways. He is willing to forgive all your sins and to restore your marriage relationship, if only you humble yourself and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. He died on the cross to pay for your sins – even sins of physical and sexual abuse – so that you can be forgiven and start over again.
If you are or have been abused by your husband or wife, you can find true, eternal safety in Jesus Christ. Anger, payback, and adultery are no solution – they are only more lies of Satan. Cry out to God for help. He will hear you!
In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus says that love is the greatest commandment. The Apostle Paul tells us that love does no harm to its neighbour (Romans 13:10). The Apostle Peter says, “Above all keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Love is the opposite of abuse.
Men and women of Papua New Guinea, we must hate and utterly reject all forms of abuse. Instead, we must put Christ’s sacrificial love at the center of our marriages and of all our lives.